tanoraqui:

y’all talk a big game about loving the Found Family trope, but have you ever personally burst into tears while watching 2000 Disney classic The Tigger Movie, in which Tigger realizes the existential horror and bone-aching loneliness of being “the only one” and starts desperately trying to contact other tiggers, building up his hopes only to have them crumble like like cheap honeycomb, but then he realizes that he already HAS a family right here with his friends in Hundred Acre Woods? huh? get on my level.

(via striders)

badjokesbyjeff:

A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks.

He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.

“Quiero calcetines,” said the man.

“I don’t speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here,” said the salesgirl.

“No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines,” said the man.

“Well, these shirts are on sale this week,” declared the salesgirl.

“No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines,” repeated the man.

“I still don’t know what you’re trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack,” offered the salesgirl.

“No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines,” insisted the man.

“These sweaters are top quality,” the salesgirl probed.

“No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines,” said the man.

“Our undershirts are over here,” fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience.

“No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines,” the man repeated.

As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, “Eso sí que es!”

“Why didn’t you just spell it in the first place?!” yelled the salesgirl.

muffintop-madonna:

theofficialvincenzo:

asundergrowth:

sassymurderousangel:

gayndam:

guys listen

mermaids would have to be dark-skinned and chubby to survive in the ocean 

water isnt a great means of protecting oneself from the sun
theyd have to be very dark if they were shallow mermaids and they didnt want to be constantly sunburnt
and they may be paler if they lived deeper in the water but theyd have to be buff and/or chubby as hell to resist the water pressure and cold of the deep sea

what im saying is pale-ass white skinny mermaids are just unrealistic

I love this tea

Fat isn’t a defense against water pressure, it’s an insulator. So the colder the water, the fatter the mermaid.

Scandinavian merfolk would be tubby, evolving more for persistence hunting in the freezing coastal waters, possibly relying more on siren-song to lull prey into effective range. The less moving the better! Gotta keep the chub on to survive the winter.

Whereas Mediterranean/Polynesian merfolk would spend their time among the fertile reefs in warmer waters, competing with other predators. They would be built for speed and agility, buff like sprinters. Darker skin would be harder to spot under the surf, and more resistant to the glaring sun.

Also: it’s not hair, it’s scillia that they use to filter plankton out of the water, and it stings like a jellyfish if you touch it.

I would imagine that merfolk come in many different colors, maybe they even have the ability to shift their skin tone to assist in hunting? I guess that depends on how intelligent your mermaids are.

Tldr; cold water mermaids would probably be chubby, warm water mermaids would look like Serna Williams.

Another thing to take into account is Deep-Sea-Gigantism. It’s not fully understood why many animal species such as the colossal squid and whales typically grow to unimaginable sizes in high-water-pressure areas, but it’s assumed that it develops as some sort of defense mechanism. This would imply that deep-sea merfolk would be a sort of Leviathan-class eldritch horror. 

Hell yeah hell yeah

(via constellationsarestellar)